Sunday, March 7, 2010

An Outlet

I have learned so much about myself in the past six months that I decided I need an outlet to put all of it together. Six months ago I was a woman who felt unattractive, overweight, not sexy, and very boring. I felt like my attractive years were over. I was no longer the skinny 20ish year old with long blonde hair who exuded sensuality and had charisma for days. I was that dowdy, married, boring, 30ish year old with three kids that no longer lived for herself, but lived for everyone else. It’s funny how fast things can change.

Six months ago, out of nowhere I learned that there are communities, BBW communities out there that find people like me attractive. People like me that have some chub, some rolls, some thickness to their bodies. People like me with stretch marks and bellies. People like me that do not look like every woman you see in magazines or on television. Six months ago I learned that the skinny, 20ish year old with long blonde hair was still there, inside of me, but with some extra padding and hair that was now short. If someone had told me I was attractive seven months ago I would have figured they were either on crack, or desperate, maybe both. Six months ago I came across a forum for people like me, where I would find out so much information about the bbw community in general, but I would also learn so much about myself in the process, and also make some really great friendships along the way. I found a community where I could be me, the me that had always been here, but had been pushed aside by my own warped self-worth. I learned that I could still be that 30ish, married, mom of three, but with a more fun side. And, what fun it has been.

In this blog I plan on talking about my journey, the fun, the ups and the downs, of re-learning myself. I can’t promise it is going to be sexy all of the time. I can’t promise there are going to be picture updates of my chubby self. Right now I can’t even promise if there will be one picture. So, if that is why you are here, I suggest you leave, and never come back. If you are here to learn more about me, to join me in this crazy journey, then stay as long as you’d like.


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